Saturday, January 13, 2018

Like "Fancy", with a side of "Bossy"

By mid August 2007' I had become closer with my new friend C. She and I hung out every time I came to see Chris because he was staying with them. Chris and I became close and I was all in with my feelings for him.
My mom even met C and she liked her and C liked mom. Heck, everyone basically liked mom. 
She was 5'4 , blonde hair,hazel blue/green eyes and didn't take crap from anyone. She was kind and would help anyone but don't cross her. She wasn't afraid to tell you how she felt. She wasn't rudely blunt but told things straight up.
She wasn't intimidated by anyone. She would take me to C's home and get out and talk to everyone there. I was honest with mom. I didn't tell details. 
I think that's called lying by omission? 😁
I could talk to her about anything. We discussed having me put on the birth control pills since I was getting close with Chris and almost 16 years old.
She invited Chris over to our house for dinners. The photo below of mom is when her and I and Chris were cooking out on the back patio. She hated having her photos taken. As you can see her ducking her face and holding her hand up.  😁
This was the evening Chris asked to speak with my mom. 
My heart was racing. Holding the gate open for mom, they sat on a swing and had a heart to heart. I couldn't help but listen in. 
I was scared mom would put her foot down too much and make Chris stay away. 
Mom said to Chris" she's my baby girl. She's a handful and we've been through a lot together. I want her focus on school and not doing what she was in TN. You seem like you were raised properly and I have seen how Tiffany lights up when you're around. You're all she talks about. I have defended you and I always will as long as you treat my baby girl right. I don't want her coming home really late. I don't want her drinking and driving,she only has a permit so she needs more driving experience but drinking should never be involved. I don't want her drinking anywhere. When she's with you, I expect you to be responsible with her".
Hearing mom's rules made my stomach turn. I just knew I wasn't worth it to him and he would leave and never have anything to do with me again. I became mad at her for talking to him. I interrupted them and basically told my mom to shut up and leave him alone. I told her I wasn't a baby and he didn't have to listen to another word. 
That is when I saw something in Chris I never had in anyone I'd ever been with.. Respect for my mother. In such a way I was speechless. 
He looked right at me after I said those things and says " your mom does not have to shut up, that was rude and bratty to say. I DO want to hear what she has to say. With the way you're acting and talking to her, I'd much rather hear her than listen to another word come from your bossy ass mouth. I will turn away so she can whip your ass for being such a bossy,brat. You're welcome to go inside while we finish talking. I do like you a lot,but if this is how you're going to treat Wanda because she's talking to me, I won't come around anymore. You should aplogise and go back on the patio."
I just stood there my mouth hanging open. I looked down at my mom who looked shocked and then her smirk to show how impressed she was by Chris.
I sounded like porky pig as I finally spat out" um, I'm sorry Mama, won't happen again".
And I turned away like a puppy with its tail tucked in between its legs, face burning with embarrassment,back up on the patio. 
He didn't yell nor raise his voice. He was Stern and I knew he meant every word.
I thought to myself' what in the hell just happened'!??
They talked until it was getting dark. I had cleaned up the plates and scraps of food. Washed up the glasses and sat down waiting on them to decide my fate. I couldn't be mad at either of them because I was being a bossy brat. I had always been rude to mom when she was only doing her best for me. 
I was dumbfounded at how he defended my mom and how much of an ass I made of myself.
My ex's weren't mean to my mom but they never were like Chris was to her. 
They finally came back on to the patio, interrupting my thoughts. Chris asked if I was ok. 
Um..  I'm not sure.
He said " I didn't want to hurt your feelings but you were being mean."
I just shook my head in agreement and embarrassment. Mom sat down by us both and said we had her blessing to become an official couple. She told us not to worry about the naysayers. She said she was my mom and as long as she agreed and we follow her rules, everything would work out. She looked at me and said " I believe there's something special about him. If you mess it up, you'll regret it. Take things slow and seriously. School comes first. God comes before that and you're still my daughter and will respect me."
I agreed and hugged her. 
She let Chris and I wrap things up for the night while she went inside. 
I apologised to Chris for being snotty. 
He said " I truly am into you. Your mom is awesome and doesn't deserve disrespectful crap from you especially. I don't want to distract you from doing great things in your life "
See, apparently my mom told him about the modeling agencies who had contacted her and I about me going to Nashville TN and Montgomery AL for an audition to model for several companies.
He wanted me to go for it but I wasn't sure about all of it. She also told him about my writings. I had written a few things and submitted them to country music stars and their agents to be a song writer for them. I was supposed to meet up with a great song writer in Nashville the week after the modeling thing. So Chris wanted me to go for those and not distract me going forward with it.
I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to pursue either and I did know I wanted to be with him. 
He told me to sleep on it and call him the next day after school...
He left for his home shortly after.
Boy. I had alot to think about. That was an eventful day.
Here I am. New girl in town. I had a good friend C. I met several people. School had started. I met an amazing guy that surpassed everything I could ever imagine AND my mom approved of him and what he stood for. He respected me and my mom and wanted what was best for me. I was overwhelmed. But in a good way.
All I knew was that I could not mess things up with Chris. I was in deep before I realized and by that time,it was too late.
Best part of all was I hadn't slept with him yet. A guy that didn't seek me out for that reason and he stuck around. Mind blown..
I shared a bed with my mom still. Yes. At almost 16,I still slept with my mom in her bed.❤
We talked before we slept each night and after all of that I knew we would have a lot to discuss. She told me " Tiffany,honey, I know you're young. I know you have a long life ahead. You've been through so much and I am sorry. I believe God has a mighty plan for us. Especially you and I believe Chris is real and isn't like anyone you ever been with. Take things slow but I think he's someone you don't want to let slip through your hands. I'm so glad you're back with me. We need each other. Please know all I've done was my best and for you. This is your chance to have a life that I only pray for, for you. This is your chance baby. A chance for a blessed life."
I felt teary eyed so to lighten the mood I said " mama, you sound like that song by Reba. "Fancy".
We both laughed. 💚
We prayed and went to sleep.
The next morning,it was like God put in my heart what I needed. I just knew this move was by far the best opportunity to have a life I never thought I could have. I was putting the past behind me and moving forward. Mom was in a good place and I was stepping into mine. 
Sometimes there's some things I wish I could freeze in time. The happiness we felt is one thing I would want to freeze and never let it go...

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