Saturday, December 30, 2017

Answered prayers✝πŸ™❤ through a piggy bankπŸ–


I had the widest smile πŸ˜‚
I'm not my mother's only child but because I am the youngest, I was technically the only child in her home. My siblings were teens when I was born. 
So I had the coolness of only child treatment most times.
I probably drove my mom crazy being up underneath her all of the time lol. 
Wherever she went, so did I. 
I loved taking road trips with her. We would go to visit my grandmother in South Alabama.
Or to Florida. Just her and I were my favorite moments. ❤
Once we we're back home with my dad, reality came back. It wasn't as bad as some have had it but for such a young girl who loved both of her parents, and who was attached to her mother's hip, it wasn't the best when arguing began between them. My mom tried to shelter me from those fights, but I heard and saw so much already, I knew that it would be that way whenever dad came home. 
Now I don't want to seem like I am demonizing my dad. He struggled with addiction/alcholisim and has several mental illness issues. He never physically abused me but he scared the hell outta me by being so mean to my mom. I would cry and he would yell at her to make me stop crying. Over time, I was used to him yelling louder when I cried that I developed a Terrible , frustrating, embarrassing, stutter. I couldn't say the most simple words. 
I was put in speech therapy. It would get better when Dad was away, but just when I thought it was gone, he would come back and so would my speech issues/stuttering. 
Dad would leave more often and stay gone longer. I felt safer. 
But I could tell my mom was sad and missed him. I watched her stand her ground and then he would get back into her good graces. Swear he quit drinking etc. This went on for years. 
One of the many times he talked her into coming back to him, (each time she had a job,I was in school and we had a cute place,just us two)
She agreed and boy was that a major mistake. 
It was the month of May ,when I was 7
Mom and I had been out that day and when we came home, dad was working on his car. Whiskey bottles and beer cans scattered about. 
He was mad, I could tell. So mom made me food and dad came in yelling. Mom put herself in between him and me. She told him to back away. I'm assuming that was disrespectful to him and he grabbed her up, and beat her with close fists from the kitchen, to our living room. Her screaming and crying. Me having a mini heart attack looking for a way to get to the wall phone to call for help. I made my legs move and I ran to the phone, watching in horror as my dad, was standing up, hunched over my mother laying balled up in the floor next to the window behind the couch, punching her over and over and over. 
The stupid stutter kicked in and I finally found my voice and screamed at dad " DADDY,! STOP HITTING MOMMY"!!!
To my relief, the next punch, he hesitated. I turned to call 911 and when. I turned back towards the nightmare, dad pushed passed me out the door. I let go of the phone and ran to where mom was... Only she wasn't there. I literally thought God came down and took her away. 
I heard crying and I look over at the busted window. Looked out and down to the ground and there laid my mom. My mind didn't understand how she got down there.... Outside. On the ground. Below our living room window. So I ran outside,fell on a nail that cut my ankle up to my leg, got up and Continued to my helpless mother. It took all 60lbs of me to help her up and be her crutches to the tailgate of that damn car that I assumed made my dad so angry just moments before. I ran to a neighbor's home who didn't speak English and just grabbed their phone. I called for help again. My dad was back inside at this time. Police and ambulances showed up after what felt like forever. My mom crying, grabbing her ribs. They loaded her on a stretcher and off she went. Cops busted in our door and would you believe my dad wouldn't cooperate with them!?!? (Sarcasm)
It took 6 cops , their clubs and mase to get handcuffs on dad. They dragged him bleeding from his face, him screaming, to their patrol car. He was screaming for me. I was terrified. He wanted his medicine and for me to call someone to bail him out later..... I was left there to see that the struggle to arrest my dad, destroyed our furniture, living room kitchen etc. I didn't know what to do. So like I'd watched my mom do all of my life with living with Dad, I started picking the mess up. I counted 26 beer cans and four whiskey bottles. All empty. 
I was finally taken to a close family members home and questioned by detective after detective. 
The hospital finally let us know that all of moms ribs had been either cracked or broken. Face fractured. When I saw her again,she was blue, and gray,and black, head to toe. 
Ironically enough, my mom spent three days in the hospital while my dad, who put her there spent just three hours in jail before being released on bail. He told everyone mom "went crazy and broke up the house and threw herself out of that window"
And his family, the one who bailed him out, believed him. That's his story to this day. But I was the forgotten witness. And I saw everything. 
Protection orders were granted for her and me. I was the main and only witness so I was brought up to the witness stand in a huge,cold courtroom. I had to point my dad out and tell everyone what happened. The judge let me choose to be with my mom solely. (Obviously I wasn't going to be granted to dad)
Judge ruled in mom's favor and my dad cried when I said he scared me. 
Mom and I went home.
This is when I developed an irrational fear of losing my mother. I would cry when she would go outside to mow the grass, fearing dad would get someone to do a drive-by and kill her. This lasted my whole childhood. That fear of losing her. 
She pressed on and let him back once more a few years later. But my little girl prayers were answered when mom and I came home to find my piggy bank busted, my dog gone and no sign of dad. He had promised me Earlier that same day he was taking me fishing but he took that trip without me, with MY Money I saved, my dog and my blankets
I had received from a vacation. 
It took along time to save that $126.57 but he needed it more I suppose. I'm actually thankful I had saved that money up and thankful that it was there for dad. So that when he decided to leave, he could take the money and stay gone this time. He had no excuse to call Mom and say he was sleeping in his truck because now,he had my money to stay somewhere and she wouldn't cave and let him back. I believe that was part of God answering my prayers; using that piggy bank to get Dad out again.
Mom eventually filed for divorce and he never returned to live with us. He tried but I prayed that God would keep him away. Mom worked and did her best for us. Child support was granted but it never came and we did well without it. I was the happiest child that ever came from a divorced home. That was the best thing they ever did. (Other than having me) of course πŸ˜‰
I haven't stuttered since. 
Life went pretty fast after this phase... And more circumstances that I didn't have control over,came at me. My mom was a survivor and I also learned to survive and adapt to any environment or situation. That came in handy as life happened as it did.
God watched over me and Mom from the start. She kept her faith and her focus was on me and her family...
I carried around the feelings I had learned to hide, over the years and brought them into other parts of life. It was the perfect storm for events that occurred. Some things just don't mix well. Just because you can put things together, doesn't mean you should.....